The Beaches of Tiny

Finally got a chance to explore some of the better beaches up here around Penetanguishene.  I have always been told that the private beaches out at the concessions were far better than the public beach at Balm Beach, and I am now able to confirm that this is infact the case.

We started our day out at the public beach on the 11th Concession, in the Township of Tiny, where the beach features lovely, clean white sand, and the water was crystal clear.  My only real complaint about this beach was the amount of rocks that you have to traverse in order to get to the water.
There is a great sandbar, and the water temperature was seasonably warm.  There were a few families down at this beach when we arrived, but for the most part, it was pretty quiet.

Our second stop was the public beach at the 13th Concession of Tiny.  This beach had a much more secluded feel, but features coarser sand, that bordered on small gravel down by the waters edge.  But there were no submerged rocks to scramble over to actually get into the water.  The water at the 13th is uber shallow, meaning a long walk out to the first sandbar, but again, the water was crystal clear and was actually at least a couple of degrees warmer than the water at the 11th.  Being able to sit on the sandbars and soak up the rays was a pretty great way to spend the afternoon.

Of the two, I much preferred the beach at the 13th, dispite the fact that the 11th has nicer sand.

As a side bar, while both of these beaches are posted as public, the only parking available requires a valid parking pass, that only residents of Tiny can obtain.  Non residents take the risk of getting a $50 ticket every 3 hours for parking anywhere near these beaches.  The Township of Tiny has a funny way of encouraging tourism...Douchewaffles.  Haven't they ever heard of parking meters?  I would gladly pay 5-10 bucks to enjoy these beaches for day, but a mandatory  $50 fine for using a public beach just guarentees that I will trash them on the interweb...a classic case of heinous fuckery most foul.

Map of Westeros: With a retro twist

For all of you Game of Thrones fans of my generation, here's a little something I stumbled upon on the interweb that made my day.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

That's right, Westeros rendered in loving detail using the classic 8 bit stylings of the beloved Super Mario Brothers franchise from the Nintendo Entertainment System.

The attention to detail is pretty friggin fabulous, notice Boo floating over Harrenhall?  The Heart Tree next to Winterfell? The ladder up to the Eryie?

Highgarden and Dragonstone also earn special mention for being especially inspired. 
And because it just begs for a matching soundtrack: Enjoy!

 

The Watch: Summer Fluff

Got out last night to see a couple of new movies...and The Watch was by far the better movie of the night.  Sadly this isn't saying much.

The cast is rock solid: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, and Richard Ayoade, make up the members of the watch team.

The plot is a little out there:
Stiller, the manager of the local Costco and his quirky band of co-stars form a community watch club to help protect their small suburban community from the individual who murdered one of Stiller's employees.  The local police have no leads, and are incredibly inept.

What they don't know is that the murder was committed by a ravening alien, one of many who recently crash landed in their quiet home town, and who are now stealing their victims skins in order blend into the local population.

Keep in mind that this film is a comedy.  Despite the blood and gore, the cast ensure that things never get too dark.  Most of the comedy in the piece can be found in the relationships and interactions of the Watch members. Stiller, Vaughn, Hill, and Ayoade turn in fun, fresh performances that keep the movie light-hearted and fun.

Vaughn's struggles with his hot to trot teenage daughter, and Hill's short scene with his mother top the list for scenes that ring with everyday truth, and genuine comedy.

They also attempt to inject some heart into the film through Stiller's strained relationship with his wife, a sub-plot that feels a little strained throughout.

Comic Highlights:
Ayoade's speech concerning his reasons for joining the watch.
Hill's lovable militant misfit's storming into his own home to secure a hidden weapons cache.
Vaughn and Hill spying on Vaughn's daughter at an oversexed teenage pool party.
Stiller and Ayoade invading a suspected Alien hive in the basement of Stiller's neighbours home.

The mandatory double-tap scene featured in the previews is also pretty funny, but certainly not unexpected.

For a piece of Summer fluff, on a cheap night, it was worth the price, but generally speaking The Watch is a solid rental.

TED: Fail!

Right off the top I want to say that I was dissapointed with Ted.
However, the reason for my disappointment stems from the fact that I didn't find the movie anywhere near as offensive (read: funny) as I had been lead to believe.  With Seth McFarlane at the helm, I had been hoping for something that explored the extreme edges of dark comedy, broke established bounderies, while offering scathing pop culture quips.  What I got instead, was a dumbed down full length version of a family guy episode, with an alcoholic, slacker, talking  stuffed bear taking the place of the alcoholic, slacker, talking animated dog.
An R rated comedy about an anthropomorphic Teddy bear from Seth McFarlane, creator of Family Guy, and featuring some big name Hollywood celebrities: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, and Giovanni Robisi, Ted simply does not live up to expectations.
Sure there are some laugh out loud moments, most of which feature Ted's bizarre sex life, but for the most part, this movie is just full of tired old jokes.
The one exception: the brawl between Ted and Whalberg in a seedy hotel room was pretty god damn funny, because of how violent it was. 
Wahlberg, who also produced the film, doesn't have much to work with when it comes to character or plot.  His character comes across as the biggest looser (read: pussy) in Boston, still needing his Teddy bear to get through thunderstorms in his mid 30's.
Mila Kunis has almost nothing to do...other than look incredibly hot, which she does remarkably well, as always.
McFarlane, voicing the role of the title character comes across exactly as he does in everything he has ever appeared in.  There is no variety, which leads to a very dissapointing character.
Giovanni Robisi, adds little to the plot with his nut case role, but of the entire cast, he looks the most like he is having a good time on camera.
Ryan Reynolds earns full points however for the movies best cameo.
In short, if you love Family Guy, this movie will be for you.  If you were hoping that McFarlane's first full length feature film would step up and raise the bar...you will be sadly dissapointed. 

Today's lesson about the legal system.

So in mid May a uniformed police officer rang my doorbell and handed me a suponea.  I had been summoned to appear as a witness in the trial of the individual who rear ended me last December.  (If you don't know that story, see my blog post "An Atypical Friday Night").  Apparently he was fighting the charges of careless driving and failure to provide the proper information ( Ala insurance).

The date of the court case was Friday July 27th, at 10am at the courthouse in Cambridge.
After a quick check of my work schedule, I breathed a sigh of relief, I would be working out of town, 3 hours North in Penetang, but my show schedule would allow me to attend the trial without having to actually miss any work.

So last night, after doing 2 shows I jumped in the Escape at 11pm, and drove the 3 hours home to get a few hours sleep.
I was up at 7:45am to shower and prep for the day, determined to make it to the courthouse early, since I wasn't entirely certain where the courthouse is located.

At 9:15am I arrive at the courthouse, verify I am in the right spot, and take a seat in the waiting room of courtroom 103.  The aid I spoke with told me to check in with the prosecutor once the courtroom opened.

At 9:30am a gentleman came into the waiting room and asked if anyone was there for a 10am trial who hadn't checked in yet.  I flagged him down, and showed him my paperwork, only to be told that my case was of a different nature than the ones he was working, and another prosecutor would be working my case.  She walked in the door at exactly that moment, and the gentleman informed her that I was one of her witnesses.

She came over and sat next to me, verified my paperwork, then told me that they were going to stay the charges in the case as they had a plea on other pending charges (which I assume were the impaired, and the leaving the scene).  She thanked me for coming in, told me my civil duty had been done, and I was free to go.

Free to drive the 3 hours back to Penetang, without ever actually having made it into the court room.

While I was partially relieved to not have to sit on the stand, and go through the whole process, a big part of me would have appreciated a phone call informimg me of this before I made the 3 hour drive down in the first place...

I politely thanked the prosecutor...I figured as a civil servant she has to deal with enough idiots, why get upset about it?...she was just doing her job, so I jumped back in the car and hit the highway.

I could tell it was going to be a long day.

The Dark Knight Rises - Movie Review

Over the weekend I had the pleasure of attending a screening of the final chapter of Christopher Nolan's Batman Trilogy.

Let me start out by saying that I have really enjoyed the other 2 movies in this reboot of the batman series.  Both Batman Begins, and The Dark Knight, were solid films that put an interesting, dark, modern spin on the Batman franchise.  These films stand alone from the early 1960's television show, and the 1980's films that featured a host of hollywood actors in the title role.

Dark Knight Rises takes all of that to another level.  It really is an incredible triumph for a comic book movie franchise.  And as it managed to rake in $160 million at the box office on its Opening Weekend, I'd wager that alot of fans are going to be mouring the end of this take on the Batman mythology.

Once again, the cast is phenomenonal, with Christian Bale returning for his 3rd and final time as the caped crusader.  Bale's Batman is a cagey, aggressive crusader who has sacrificed everything for the city he loves.  Bale's quiet fury at this latest attack on Gotham, and the sense of determination that he excudes while attempting to set things right, create a performance that is both dark and incredibly uplifting.  Morgan Freeman, Michael Cain, and Gary Oldman are also back to reprise their roles as Bruce Waynes trusted friends and confidants, all of whom do an excellent job with their supporting roles. New comers to the series include Anne Hathaway as Catwoman, Tom Hardy as Bane, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as John Blake, a young Gotham City Police detective.  Hathaway earns special mention for being both easy on the eyes, and remarkably layered in her performance.  It was great to see an attractive, strong female character finally make an appearance in this franchise.





The plot is both immersive, and fast paced enough to keep you deeply interested in the fates of the myrad characters that you are introduced to throughout the film.  Nolan really widen's the perspective with this film, focusing a large amount of screen time not only on the title charater, but on many inhabitants of Gotham, over the course of the film.  This movie really does focus on the elevation of an individual to the status of Hero through the course of the story.

The cinematography is beautiful, every shot seems crisp, clear, and infused with just a hint of sepia filter that adds a subtle reminder of comic book-esque art to the the big screen.

Ofcourse, there are also some wicked action sequences, and as always, Nolan puts a few of Batman's new toys on display.  The Bat (think Quadrotor adaped Bat-plane) being the one that gets the most screentime, while Bane's minions cruise around town in 3-4 stolen Batmobiles. 



 The Batsuit also gets an interesting reworking, although one has to be paying attention to notice the differences from previous incarnations.

I was thouroughly engrossed with the film from its engaging beginning to its remarkable ending.

While I won't give anything away, I will say that if you haven't yet, you should go out and see this film on the big screen.  It has been well worth the wait.  In fact in my mind, it is the movie event of the Summer.

Balm Beach - first impressions

So after spending 5 weeks soaking up the sun in and around beautiful Grand Bend, I have been transferred up north to Penetang for work.
A little over a week into the contract I finally have the time and the energy to hunt down the nearest public beach with a few co-workers for some fun in the sun.
Balm Beach is a really cute little community, not far from Midland, right in the shores of Georgian Bay.  Right away let me start by saying how shocked I was by the tiny size of their public beach.  Being raised on the shores of Lake Huron, I am used to miles and miles of available beach front property to choose from for all your beach related desires.  Here at Balm beach you are working with a clearly marked public area that can't be more than 600' in length.  And the sand is full of rocks...a shame.
When we arrived around 4pm the beach was host to alot of young families, and elderly couples, not the crowds I am used to after weeks on end spent in the Grand Bend area.
It seems as though every road is town us marked with no-parking signs, forcing you to park at one of the roughly 40 the municipal meters for a whopping $2/ hour up to a maximum of $15 for the day.  This blows my mind.  At Ipperwash you can park on the beach for free, all day.  What gives? 
On top of a tiny, rocky, beach, and the ridiculous parking situation, the first 30' of the water is carpeted in a solid stretch of stones.  Not fun.
On the plus side, because of the amazing weather we've been having this summer, the water was very warm today, likely around 76-78 degrees, which is warm for Georgian Bay.  The water was also a touch choppy today, with waves easily reaching 2' in height, which is apparently unusual for this area. 
What I will say, is that the view from the beach was stunning.  It really is a very pretty area of Northern Ontario.
I have been told that the better beaches in the area are private beaches on the local concessions.  I fully intend to brave the parking tickets that all non residents risk, should they be found parked at these private beaches in order to continue my quest for a better beach.
If I find one, I'll be sure to post pictures, and my impressions.